Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I want to talk...

baby-lo isn't a baby - before my eyes she's become a togla. ar a toddler. whatev. I should call her "lo" now instead.
a few times in the last week I've been faced with a situation which leaves me thinking. lo is busy learning news things and starting to assert her independence. the things I say and do will establish the ground rules for our interactions, and will really define the way I parent.
it's got me wondering what kind of parent I want to be, what is important to me, and how can super-dad and I ensure we develop consistency in our approach to parenting?
here's some examples:
  1. on sunday, bl carefully pushed a stool over to the toybox in front of the tele and used it as a prop to clamber onto the toybox and reach a doll on the top of the tele

  2. on monday while visiting a friend, bl was presented with a plate of sliced fruit. she wasn't interested in eating it and so tipped the plate over

so they're totally different instances, but for they've started me thinking about parenting philosophies and encouraging positive behaviour in toglas.

in situation 1, the most important issue is safety. but in some ways I applaud her ingenuity. I don't want to just say "naughty girl" when she's being inventive, not bad. I said "well done - great climbing. mummy doesn't want you so close to the tele though darling - let's put the stool in another room". but I don't want to encourage potentially dangerous climbing.

in situation 2, I was acutely aware we were at someone's house and I really felt like I was on display as a mum. I said "let's keep the food on the plate. if you don't want any, I can put it away". and yet I don't want to become an ineffectual mother who brushes aside delinquent behaviours as all being "cute". having said that, in that instance I don't think bl was being intentionally destructive - so it's not a strict discipline thing either.

lot's of book blurbs I've read talk about discipline which makes me a bit uncomfortable. I think there have to be ways to encourage positive social behaviours while still making clear boundaries. I'm conscious too, that consistency in approach will be crucial.

I worry about the messages children hear when we label them as naughty or nice, good or bad. I feel really uncomfortable when I hear parents talking about their child in negative ways - especially within earshot. I cringe when I hear parents describe children as difficult, high maintenance or highly strung.

praps I'm coming to this later than other mums, almost certainly I'm over thinking it. what do you do to encourage positive behaviours, and how do you respond to inappropriate ones? is there a book or philopsophy or mantra that you follow?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

me wait?

I just wanted to get it done, so done it is. now to consider backing and borders and things...

eeep - random?...!

I bravely sliced, sewed and sliced into some old work shirts of SD's. I wanted to trial making a quilt top by machine, and also to trial the disappearing 9 patch quilt.

this is my current layout. I'm going for a grid design, rather than the usual slash/rotate, because I had 5 sets of 3x3, rather than an even number.

any quilt enthusiasts reading: shall I stop playing and call this a day for the layout?

ETA: the fabrics....